ARTEMIS FOWL: Menace in Hogwarts
by ION BEAM
Summary: In battle for an ancient artifact, the magical land of Hogwarts is brought to the attention of Artemis Fowl.


OVER BLACK A TRIBE OF CHILDREN SING A SPIRITUAL SONG.

SUPER: CENTRAL AMERICA

FADE IN:

EXT. JUNGLE - NIGHT

Bird song and animal calls give voice to green lush of jungle  
that surrounds a stream within a clearing.

Slowly flowing down the stream A FROG rests on a lily pad.

In an unsuccessful attempt to snag a passing FLY the frog  
slips into the flow.

The FROG resurfaces at the water's edge and leaps onto a  
hollow log.

A SNAKE slithers out of the log and emerges behind the  
unaware frog.

A band of singing children tread through the stream.

Mouth wide open the SNAKE prepares to strike.

The mushing band of children tramples over the SNAKE.

THE FROG nibbly escapes.

THE GANG OF KIDS vanish into the bush.

A league of vegetation ruffle, dancing in commotion.

Beams of light flash just beyond.

Wild screams cut through the air.

CHILD1 (O.S.)  
Chupacabra!

THE CHILDREN tare through the jungle, high tailing back to  
where they came.

There stands a lanky greyish green scaly creature, boasting  
to stand about seven feet tall.

The creature breathes heavily as it stares into the eyes of  
HARRY POTTER.

Potter grips a GOLDEN STAFF in one hand and with the other  
points his wand and shoots a bolt of magic into the animals  
chest.

THE CREATURE swipes at Harry but, instead makes contact with  
a tree, causing it to crumble.

Harry tumbles to the ground, losing possession of the golden  
rod.

A NINJA flips over the fallen tree and picks the staff from  
amongst a bunch of broken twigs.

THE NINJA casually walks away with a very distinctive,  
feminine stroll.

The creature attempts to pursue the staff's wielder.

Harry distracts the creature with a stun from his wand.

After pausing and coming to a complete stop, THE NINJA turn  
its' head and continue into the jungle with an attractive  
stride.

Through the spectacles of binoculars someone observe the  
events from afar.

The binoculars are pulled from the face revealing a pair of  
missed matched EYES, one blue and the other hazel.

It's ARTEMIS FOWL wearing a crooked smile.

THE NINJA approaches Fowl from behind, removing the mask  
revealing that it's JULIET.

JULIET  
Can't believe I missed the UFC

for this. Arty, this is very disappointing.

She toss him the GOLDEN ROD.

JULIET (CONT'D)  
You said that this would be a bit  
of a challenge for me!

Admiring the staff.

ARTEMIS  
Have I ever steered you wrong?

JULIET  
Well, there's always a first time  
for every-

She turns to bump right into the chest of the Chupacabra.

JULIET (CONT'D)  
-THING!

As if in a trans the animal looks pass Juliet to Artemis.

THE CREATURE releases a howl and charges at Artemis.

JULIET dashes to intercept the raging beast.

With tons of blow dodging and a combination of quick high and  
low kicks Juliet helps the creature find a resting place in  
the loose soil.

Gazing at the artifact deeply.

ARTEMIS  
The Chupacabra must be the  
protector of the staff.

BIRDS CALL OUT AS TREES ROUGH ABOUT.

Juliet and Artemis look to the sky as birds flutter in  
fright.

MORE CHUPACABRA UNLEASH THE SHADOWS.

JULIET  
Wow, a whole troop.

The down creature unearth its self, slow to its' feet.

HARRY  
Give the staff to me and I give you  
my word. I will help you and your  
friend.

With a wave of the hand Artemis shoo Harry away.

ARTEMIS  
Butler.

Communicating through something lodged in his EAR.

ARTEMIS (CONT'D)  
How much more time do you need to  
unclog the shoot?

A mountain size man dressed in a designer suit launches over  
a slop with dust and pebbles rolling at his FEET.

Together Butler and Juliet get physical with the beasts. Blow  
after blow the animals continue to strike.

Finally Butler retreat to something lodged into his coat  
pocket.

Butler grips a long steel firearm, takes aim and slick  
metallic shards fly.

Two of the creatures drop like flies.

In shock.

HARRY  
No! You mustn't kill them!

Potter points his wand in Butler's direction while running  
toward the battle.

The wand grows brighter and brighter as Potter chants a  
spell.

Artemis pokes out his feet directly in Potter's path.

Suddenly Harry is face down, eating his words on the ground.  
The wand slowly dims to lose its glow completely.

ARTEMIS laughs in delight.

Butler's a loose cannon, reloading and letting bullets fly.

One creature go into a rage, far more aggressive than the  
rest.

BUTLER takes careful aim, cross hairs fixed right between the  
eyes.

Two projectiles expel from the weapon.

Instantaneously, with no warning, out of thin air two tall  
skinny red hair boys pops into existence. Just as instant  
each boy takes a bullet.

HARRY (CONT'D)  
Fred? George?

The boys collapse to the ground.

Wild howls fill the air as more of the Chupacabra disburse  
from the jungle.

Harry attempt to dash over to his wounded friends but, is  
frozen at the site of the Chupacarbra reinforcements.

Potter dashes in the opposite direction and disappear into  
the shadows of the jungle.

Butler now out of ammo, returns his pistol into his jacket  
pocket and with Juliet rushes the creatures to deal with them  
with hand to hand combat.

The Earth rumble, then an explosion. From underground, atop  
the cliff from which Butler came, comes a ship of some sort.

Artemis peer at the driver.

ARTEMIS  
Holley!

Artemis discards the staff. All at once everyone in Artemis  
crew darts for the shuttle as Captain HOLLEY SHORT lowers the  
SHIP and the vessel's door opens.

Juliet notice the GOLDEN STAFF on the ground and rushes to  
recover it before she boards the ship.

The ships door seals shut and the rockets propels the ship  
downward into the Earth.

CUT TO:

INT. L.E.P. SHUTTLE - MOMENTS LATER

While sitting behind Artemis on the ship Juliet study the  
golden artifact then, stares at the back of Artemis' head and  
then back at the staff.

At the head of the ship Holley, a female elf like creature  
pilots the ship.

HOLLEY  
Where to now mud boy?

ARTEMIS  
Holley, have the L.E.P. ever hear  
of a place called - Hogwarts?

The Golden staff in Juliet's hands magically turned into  
nothing more than a twig from an ordinary tree.

Juliet stares Artemis down again from behind but, this time  
with a smile.

Artemis Fowl hadn't been duped by the magical ruse that the  
Potter boy tried to pull.

A screen at Holley's side comes to life as Foley, the horse  
like figure displays on the screen.

FOLAY  
Artemis, you are an impossible mud  
boy. I don't suppose you like to  
tell me how you know bout Hogwarts.  
A place that is not even common  
knowledge for even The People.

Artemis stares at the screen with his arms fold.

FOLAY (CONT'D)  
Yeah, didn't think you would.

Holley glance at the screen.

HOLLEY  
Hummm!

Arms still folded Artemis holds a strong smirk.

FOLAY (O.S.)  
Holey I'll send you the coordinates  
in a moment.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOGWARTS - MORNING

FROM BEHIND THE CLOUDS THE SUN GAZE OVER A MASSIVE CASTLE  
SCHOOL LIKE STRUCTURE SURROUNDED BY AN ENORMOUS GARDEN OF  
TREES.

SUPER: HOGWARTS

CUT TO:

INT. HOGWARTS - MESS HALL - CONTINUOUS

A GATHERING OF YOUNG WIZARDS HAVE THE HALL DRESSED WITH  
HUNDREDS OF DARKLY COLORED ROBS.

In the center HARRY POTTER holds his hand to the air and with  
the other hand he removes what seems to be an invisibility  
cloth, revealing the golden staff.

As if on cue the young wizards cheered for Harry.

The enormous twin doors of the hall swings open with  
tremendous force.

The hall commotion halt.

Shoulder to shoulder Butler, Artemis, and Juliet calmly  
stroll through the double doors and in unison come to a stop.

BUTLER  
(Whispering)  
Artemis are you sure you're up to  
this?

Artemis give a nod.

ARTEMIS  
Harry Potter is it?

The Hogwarts' students shuffle, opening a path directly so  
that even though several feet apart Harry and Artemis are  
face to face.

ARTEMIS (CONT'D)  
I've come for the staff.

Silent, HARRY grips the staff with both hands.

ARTEMIS (CONT'D)  
Very well then.

With what seem to be a hint of magic ARTEMIS gestures his  
hands in ordnance to create a blue energy orb with means to  
attack.

Harry draws his wand in defense and the surrounding wizards  
follows his lead.

Artemis' orb grows larger and brighter with power.

The glow glooms Fowl's grinning face.

FADE OUT.

THE END 


End file.
